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THE LOST SPN DREAM
Jan. 25th, 2022 02:13 amI woke up on January 24th like “WHAT AM I GONNA DO FOR DEAN’S BIRTHDAY” and then failed to do anything celebratory. It was kind of a weird weekend leading up to today, to be fair. Lots of work hours, had just gotten my car back from the shop ($1500 worth of repairs, woohoo), my mom reporting that my dad was having potential COVID symptoms but of course he stubbornly resisted getting a test or staying home from referee work until I got the chance to literally drive an at-home test to their house yesterday (he tested positive). So anyway. Today I had grand plans of writing fan fiction—not finishing fan fiction, just writing some SPN stuff—but apparently the weird surge of inspiration I had (but never put to use) last week has died off, because I tried to start writing for about two hours but instead did nothing but get distracted by everything under the sun while subconsciously panicking every time I saw the time and stewing in a familiar, low-key self-loathing. I did get to see a women’s college gymnastics meet thanks to a free TV trial, and it was a very good meet. <3 This last thing has nothing to do with Dean, but at least I had a good time, and I’ll dedicate the good time to him—and also the self-loathing, for good measure.
In lieu of some actual fan fiction of some kind, I would like to share some Dean-centric fan fiction that my subconscious wrote in a dream about four and a half years ago, because I have just discovered my record of this dream after having lost track of it FOR 4.5 YEARS.
I’d recorded it while only half-awake. I knew I’d done it digitally, but I’d searched Google Drive and my documents a dozen times over the years with no luck. I wondered at one point if I had typed it up in a phone app I no longer used, which meant that it was lost forever when my phone perished in the river water of the North this summer. Honestly, I hadn’t thought about it much since. BUT THEN I stumbled upon it—recently, by chance—buried deep in the mess of an email inbox! Apparently, I had recorded the dream by typing it up in an email and sending it to myself.
Here it is in all its brain fog glory.
Subject: Dream
Sunday, September 24, 2017, 5:52am
Reading fanfic: Dean and Marybond, esp afyer Dams death (earlier 20s), no John (died when kids were tiny?), def still hunters, Dean in John's leather, very melancholy, last scene is Dean making some wisecrack (ohh that devilmaycare thing is something that hasn't shown up until now and Sam died and it's a defense mechanism as he recovers) and then Mary hugs him from the Impala driver seat and lasy linr is, "She was reminded that he had once eantrd an out."
(To translate: The last line of the fanfic was: "She was reminded that he had once wanted an out.")
This fan fiction that Dream Me was reading sounds very depressing but I want to read it.
( Oops I've discovered more things in my inbox )
In lieu of some actual fan fiction of some kind, I would like to share some Dean-centric fan fiction that my subconscious wrote in a dream about four and a half years ago, because I have just discovered my record of this dream after having lost track of it FOR 4.5 YEARS.
I’d recorded it while only half-awake. I knew I’d done it digitally, but I’d searched Google Drive and my documents a dozen times over the years with no luck. I wondered at one point if I had typed it up in a phone app I no longer used, which meant that it was lost forever when my phone perished in the river water of the North this summer. Honestly, I hadn’t thought about it much since. BUT THEN I stumbled upon it—recently, by chance—buried deep in the mess of an email inbox! Apparently, I had recorded the dream by typing it up in an email and sending it to myself.
Here it is in all its brain fog glory.
Subject: Dream
Sunday, September 24, 2017, 5:52am
Reading fanfic: Dean and Marybond, esp afyer Dams death (earlier 20s), no John (died when kids were tiny?), def still hunters, Dean in John's leather, very melancholy, last scene is Dean making some wisecrack (ohh that devilmaycare thing is something that hasn't shown up until now and Sam died and it's a defense mechanism as he recovers) and then Mary hugs him from the Impala driver seat and lasy linr is, "She was reminded that he had once eantrd an out."
(To translate: The last line of the fanfic was: "She was reminded that he had once wanted an out.")
This fan fiction that Dream Me was reading sounds very depressing but I want to read it.
( Oops I've discovered more things in my inbox )
